Dave Saying Nothing Negative
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Journey Begins
I have now gone through my first official day and I am well into day two as I write this. So how long do you think I made it without saying anything negative about anyone? How does two minutes sound? And I was REALLY trying! All is not lost, however because no one heard me, and also because on this journey I will stumble many times. It is the getting back up that counts. Ok, so what was my first negative comment of the new year? We had a little party at my house with family and friends ringing in the new year. Just after midnight we were watching the celebration in Las Vegas and an act danced. When they were finished I remarked "That was awful." As soon as I said it I realized what I had done. I looked around the living room and no one had heard me, which begs the question: "If one says a negative comment in a living room and no one hears it, does it count?" Of course I say it DOES count because my resolution is to SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ANYONE EVER. My second and so far only other negative comment happened as I was driving my brother and daughter to Pop's in Arcadia. A vehicle was driving in the passing lane along side another car and would not pull over so I could pass. Without thinking I said, "Why is this Yahoo driving in the passing lane?" Now I think the question of why someone is driving in a passing lane is ok, but I know calling him a Yahoo is certainly negative. Neither my brother nor my daughter said anything. I looked around and he was napping, and she had headphones on. So again my negative comment was not heard. I have learned already that this is going to be extremely difficult and will require 100% attention at all times. Still, I think being a day and a half into this and having not been heard to utter a negative comment about anyone yet, is pretty darn good! I know it is an improvement because I have had dozens of negative comments come to my mind, mainly as "humorous little quips", but I have kept silent every time. I still don't know if the result of this will be me becoming a more positive person, or just quieter.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Dave, it dawned on me while reading your post, could saying nothing negative while driving be as dangerous as texting while driving?
ReplyDeleteSorry about your fender; however, I did speak well of you as you cut me off!
Drive safely. By the way driving and saying nothing negative would be my greatest challenge.
Have you created a list of exceptions? What if you are being mugged? What if someone says "taste this" and it tastes rancid?
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteI saw your blog link on James Yang's post and it intrigued me. I love the idea of not saying anything negative about anyone. Is this only about people? So you could say in response to the situation above, "yuck, this is rancid" which would be the truth and not about anyone. On the other hand, negative is in the eye of the beholder in some ways. So you might be speaking truth as you see it but the other person might perceive it as negative? I shall watch with great interest. Also, I hope that you will apply the same standard to yourself, being human, you are bound to make mistakes.
Mike,
ReplyDeleteI have already seen the driving issue will be a challenge for me.
g nemec,
I have not created a list of exceptions. My attempt is to say nothing negative about anyone ever. This would include a mugger. Would I be able to keep my oath while being mugged? I hope I don't have to find out. I believe "rancid" is a term that should be used if it is true as it would be a unsafe to allow someone to eat something that was truly rancid. However, using the term to describe something I simply did not like the taste of would certainly be negative. It is not my intention to become dishonest or fake in this attempt. I want to be truthful and tactful.
Casto,
It is true that negative is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. That is why I have a team of professionals to assist me and guide me through this process. In all questions of intent I will defer to the decisions made by my team and make apologies where I have strayed. That afterall is the best I can do. I do not think I can achieve perfection in this process. However perfection is my goal, as it should be in an experiment like this.
Thanks for the comments. All were good points! It is my hope that this site will become a place of discussion on the idea of negativity and it's place within our society.