Dealing With Negative People

Several people have asked me lately if dealing with "negative people" makes it harder for me to say nothing negative about anyone?  I'm tempted to go into a long winded philosophical song about how no one is negative, we are all on a journey and sometimes... yada yada yada.  Lets be honest, there ARE negative people.  We all have to deal with them, sometimes on a daily basis.  Fate has a way of throwing us in with all sorts of people and there always seems to be one in every group that takes delight in pointing out all of the problems and staying as far away from any solutions as they can.  They tend to focus on how others should change to meet their needs and never realize that maybe they could stand to change a little too.  Now having said all of that, let me share why knowing that is very freeing for me.  Once I can realize that the person is negative by nature, NOT simply by circumstance, I can begin to allow them to be as negative as they want without, and this is crucial, without taking their negativity personally.  I can realize that their being negative has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me, even when they focus it at me and blame me for their negativity.  Now, I'm not saying I want to be surrounded by negative people, but I am saying that this vow I have taken to say nothing negative about anyone has allowed me to stay calm long enough to realize that it is OK to stay calm.  By not playing along I don't get sucked into the negative vortex.  I am free to leave them with their mood and enjoy mine.  I'm sure this all sounds very simplistic, and it probably is, but for some reason it has taken me 49 years to begin to realize it.  The tool that has allowed me to get a glimpse of this reality is the act of saying nothing negative about anyone.  So here is my answer to the question "Does dealing with negative people make it harder?"  Perhaps, but the important thing is that my resolution makes it easier to deal with negative people.

Busy, Blessed, and Bushed

Wow what a week.  Didn't get any blogging done.  100 kids in "Disney's Alice in Wonderland Junior" opening here at the theatre in 30 minutes!  Blizzard canceled a couple of rehearsals and delayed opening night.  I am doing lights for the production.  My wife is the Director, my daughter is the Stage Manager and my son is one of the 100 actors.  On top of the play this week was deadline for some very big grants for the theatre.  So grants, blizzard, 100 kid show all in one week is certainly enough to test one's resolve to say nothing negative about anyone!  So how did I do?  Not perfect I'll tell you that.  But, I did do so much better than I would have done without this resolution.  I can truly see how it helped change my mood and how it helped those around me.  Best of all, I got to meet with my 3 man support team for lunch on Friday and I spent about an hour unloading all of my stress on them (in a positive way).  It really helped.  Now here it is opening night.  The kids are all excited, the parents are happy, the theatre is filling up and I haven't bitten any heads off.  Hopefully I will be able to write more next week.  The main point I wanted to leave you with tonight is that this is working and it is beautiful.  I should have thought of it years ago.  Well got to run, the curtain is going up soon.