Laying My Cards On the Table

I had a meeting at work today with two superiors.  There had been some conflict, some fear, some hurt feelings.  I went into the meeting with a little trepidation.  I came out relieved for having had the meeting.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do is just be honest about how we feel.  If you are like me you play it through your head a thousand times, each time imagining a different response to your thought of statements, and then you think of how you would respond to that and how they would respond and... blah, blah, blah.  That mind game can keep me busy for hours or even days.  Isn't it a relief to just have the meeting and honestly try to express your thoughts in a positive way?  Lay your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may.  Did just that today and it felt GREAT!  I didn't have to go negative or get dramatic.  I didn't have to go around and dish the dirt with people not involved.  In the end I realized I had the power to make a choice.  To give my trust or to close my mind to that possibility.  I think this pledge has helped me be more willing to trust without fear.  After all in the end if someone stomps on my trust, it really isn't my fault now is it?  You see I don't have to be perfect.  That means I can make mistakes and be OK with that.  The ability to be flawed and at peace with it is the greatest freedom I have ever known.  Don't get me wrong I don't want to embrace my flaws and keep them forever.  I want to improve.  But it is OK to have flaws, to acknowledge them, maybe even to laugh at them.  Perhaps that is one of the side benefits of this pledge?  I can only tell you that having taken the pledge to say nothing negative about anyone for a year has changed me in more ways than I can count.  Try it for yourself and you'll see.