Dave Saying Nothing Negative

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Is "Truth" Negative?

In my attempts to say nothing negative about anyone I am constantly faced with a nagging question:  Is truth negative?  Or even more to the point:  Is my perception of the truth negative?  Here is a hypothetical situation.  If I observe that someone is dishonest and I warn another person about this dishonesty, have I said something negative about someone?  I certainly think of dishonesty as a negative, so is reporting about this negative a violation of my goal to say nothing negative about anyone?  Don't I have an obligation to warn someone who is likely to be a victim of this dishonesty?  Of course I do.  I am comfortable with that decision.  But alas life is not always that black and white.  What if I only suspect the dishonesty?  What if the only way I can confirm or dispel my suspicions is to have conversations with other people concerning my observations and theirs?  Now in that gray area am I saying something negative about someone?  If because of my pledge to say nothing negative about anyone I remain silent do I become an unwilling accomplice to the dishonesty?  Now what if the negative behavior I observe isn't dishonesty, but arrogance or low self esteem, or abrasiveness, or any one of a million human behaviors that I would label as negative?  Well anyway I think this illustrates the complicated grid I must navigate in order to even attempt such a pledge. So how do I decide what is a negative statement?  The only answer I can really give is motive.  Not theirs, but mine.  I must be honest with myself about my motives in speaking.  It is always a temptation to justify myself in saying all sorts of things "for the good".  But if I am honest with myself, really honest on a deeper level, sometimes I find that I must admit, even if it is honest, even if it is for the good of another, I derive some pleasure from the act of carrying this negative information about one person to another individual.  And right there is the real root of the problem and the real solution if I am able AND willing to look at it.  Do I derive some self satisfaction out of reporting the shortcomings of someone else?  Does it make me feel better about myself to point out the wrong actions of another person?  That is the real purpose of my pledge.  To be honest with myself.  To attempt to take no pleasure ever from speaking of another person's bad actions.  To not seek to build myself up by cataloging the errors of other people.  What I learn about myself, my motives, my "dirty little pleasure" in reporting "for the good" how other's are wrong is where my real progress is found.  So again I find that in any effort to change and improve my outward actions in this world, the real job is not just trying to be good.  Progress is only possible on this outward journey through an inward journey that reveals to me my faults and makes me desire to change them.  So if I am to "be good" an effort to simply do the right thing will never work.  To "be good" I must find where and why I am not.  OK, that is deep enough for a Saturday morning.  Time to decompress and enjoy this bountiful day!

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